Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
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I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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