Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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