Have you finally orgasmed yet?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize