kristin has been a bad kristin
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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