Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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