I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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