How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize