I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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