People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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