forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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