apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize