look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize