She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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