And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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