I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize