Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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