he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need to sanitize my soul.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize