Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
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I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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