i think my tv is drunk
Barsexuality is the new black.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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