fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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