Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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