when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize