I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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