Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize