did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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