a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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