Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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