It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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