Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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