we're chasing vodka with high fives
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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