all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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