Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
do nipples grow back?
Randomize