apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize