If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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