He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize