I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize