i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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