I think i peed on brittanys purse
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just found puke in my bra..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize