Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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