Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize