The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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