party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize