Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize