when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize