...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize