When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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