Best friends brother. Beat that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize