rhymes with "ouble enetration"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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