you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
vagina is talking i cant
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize