This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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